Freedom Is Now!

Everything in my life has led me to where I’m at now. Nothing has been accidental. I can see now that my time in the US was a build up to me doing what I am doing now. My mind was telling me to change, my mind has always been my guide. The only difference now is that I am aware of it. On my way to Ethiopia yet I am still stuck in London Heathrow. The plane is a bit delayed.

March 4

It’s 11am and we have arrived! The first thing I noticed when we got out of Bole airport was how calm everything seemed- completely opposite of the chaos you feel in London. The people here are so friendly and always great you with a smile. We already found a place to stay until Wednesday- the wanza hotel, a small family run hotel. I love it here, everyone is nice. It’s incredibly dry here so I’m making sure to drink lots of water. I guess Addis is the third highest elevation capital in the world.

We’ve just come back from our 1st official exploration. I love it here. Of all the places I’ve been to it seems crazy to say that Addis is the place I feel the least bit as an outsider. Everyone is so welcoming. I’ve already made my first friend, Johannes a Coptic Christian who came to our aid and got rid of pick-pocketers- I guess there were a couple guys behind us trying to do just that. He was a sweetheart. People here are genuinely kind. Western civilization could learn so much from the third world; they need to. Even the place we are staying at is wonderful. I made another friend Korba- he just came up to me and shared his food- what a beautiful world we live in. it is true we all need to focus on the goodness instead of the bad because once you do you are able to come up with a solution for the bad. Everything in life is simple. Love is the answer. It’s the only way.

I love all the bright colours here. Addis is a mixture of the old and the new. You see shepherds on the sidewalks with their mules and then you see big modern buildings. It’s wonderful seeing my friend’s reaction to being here. I’ve never seen him so happy about anything. I believe that this trip will help him follow his dreams. Before he had too much fear and now it’s gone.

It is really dry here and a bit difficult to breathe but only because of the elevation. But my breathing already has gotten much better. You just need to practice deep breathing more.

I took a nap earlier and afterwards headed out again. We walked to the piazza (2 miles) and found a place to eat. I love the food. Everything is so cheap here- we paid a total of one pound including a tip. The people here are stunningly beautiful. They have such amazing features; both the men and women have such a ‘regal’ ‘classy’ look to them. I think they would be a sculptures dream. On the way back home I made 2 new friends. Solomon and Mamo, both so nice. I just love the friendliness of everyone. Even when someone is hassling you to buy something the locals will tell them to leave you alone. Same when the children won’t stop begging, they will get yelled at or smacked but gently of course. They really value their self-respect. I’m already looking forward to the next visit and we’ve not even been here a full day!! I feel like I fit in here so well and it feels like I’ve been here much longer. Today is Sunday and everything is closed so it’s going to be great to see how everything is tomorrow.

March 5

What an amazing day. We walked at least 10 miles. We went to the former women’s fuel wood carriers project which lies at the bottom of Entoto hills. The firewood carriers are women and many of them walk at least 30km to gather bundles that weigh an average of 35kg usually more than their total bodyweight. The majority of these women earn less than 12$ month and they are usually the only income earners in the family.

We met so many wonderful people. The Entoto hills is such s beautiful area; we walked through villages and made so many great memories and human connections. The people here all seem so happy. In the area all the people go to a well with big containers to fetch water but some have help with the use of the mule. Even the animals here are well taken care of- doesn’t even compare to the ill-treatment of them in morocco.

We met this little boy, Binyam (12-14years) and he was incredible. His English was amazing and he walked with us and chatted with us and showed us wonderful scenic spots and then brought us to his home where we met his mother and little brother. They are farmers. I loved their home. The hospitality is wonderful. His dream when he gets older is to become a guide and his little brother loves Jet-Li and wants to be a director. Then after that it was time to leave but on our way down the hill we met another man named Mengistu; a very outspoken religious man who loves to speak of the ‘almighty’ lord and god. What a great character. I forgot to mention that we hired a taxi to go up the very curvy and steep hill but the taxi broke down because it couldn’t handle the steepness so instead we were put in a mini bus van. The views are stunning and you smell the burning of eucalyptus all around and you see women carrying wood and children everywhere coming from school. They walk quite a distance to get to school which reminds me of the group of children we met earlier in the day; how adorable! They all wanted their photos taken.

The modern/western world and the rest of the world need to work together and become united. The third world could teach the west about values and the west could help with technology. They need to witness the union of opposites. It’s simple-they just need to merge together. They need to gain a deeper understanding. Everything in life that is chaotic is only because of a lack of understanding. We could live in a world that is peaceful if only we gain an understanding of who we ourselves are. Everyone and everything and every living being must be seen as one.

Addis is a fascinating city though. It is the merging of the old and new. Yet like in all cities people become disconnected and their focus turns to materialism. Religion is a huge part of everyone’s daily lives here. Orthodox Christianity (Coptic) churches are everywhere and so are Jesus figurines and big crosses. The churches have loud speakers and you hear praying/chanting/sermons from afar. It reminds me of the muslim mosques but only because it is in a language I do not understand. It is quite a site though to see everyone in white walking to the church in what looks like a procession.

It’s only our second day (our 1st full day) and it feels like home. I don’t feel like it’s a foreign place. I don’t feel out of place even though I don’t speak language. Ethiopia is a place that is so easy and fun to meet people. Everyone is so kind, warm and open. Everyone smiles at you and says hello.

March 6

It’s 2:20pm and we are at a café drinking soda just like the locals do overlooking Churchill street. It’s another beautifully hot day but today there’s a breeze which makes it nicer although you get more dust in your eyes. My clothes are completely dusty and that’s just from walking.

People’s perception of Ethiopia seems to me to be completely off based. When you speak of Ethiopia to westerners their initial reaction is to be fearful and that it is such a crime-ridden place and that the people are dangerous- hahaha what a joke! But it’s all because a lack of understanding- they have just been conditioned to think that way. They watch the news and the only things they hear are the horror stories. But in reality the people here are loving and peaceful much more so than in the west. The values here are different.

Now we are back at our room and I am exhausted! I got a lot of sun today. We went to Merkato market and the piazza and in the piazza we met another great person-Yonas- his father lives in the Rasta community down south (he’s Jamaican and his mother is Ethiopian) he was funny, he ended up walking with us and chatting with us all the way to where we are staying. Either way it was lovely to meet him. He’s funny, he told me he gets into fights with people if they look at him the wrong way he also told us that his dad sends him I guess incredible pot from sashimi née. He told me that Addis is pretty dangerous, that there are hustlers and that you do need to take care. He wants his English to improve and be like mine.

This is our last night in Addis until next week. We leave early in the morning for Bahir Dar, we need to check in at the airport at 5:15am. Love is the answer. The only way to stop hatred/negativity is through love. The solution is so simple yet so hard for people to truly understand because they live in a world full of complications and contradictions which they themselves create. To understand how everything is simple you must break free from the chaos that you create and turn to your higher self and begin to harness the purity little by little, this purity will expand dissolving all chaos and complications until it is all gone and all you are left with is pureness and once you have reached this stage, you will be able to see and gain a deeper understanding and become who you are really supposed to be. From here all you need to do is ask for more strength and power and you can begin the process of perfecting yourself.

March 7

The sun has yet to come out and we are already at the airport. It’s only 5:25am and we don’t begin boarding until 6:30 and the flight leaves at 7:15am.

Another day has gone by and I am lying in bed getting ready for sleep. Bahir Dar is so far my favourite place. We’ve only been here a day and already we have had wonderful human moments with strangers. After we arrived and checked into our hotel (ghion) which by the way I love- the setting is perfect! It’s right on Lake Tana surrounded by huge trees and flowers; there are exotic birds everywhere and also monkeys roaming around. Our room is massive; it’s actually more like a bungalow. I love it here. We decided to try to see if we could find hippos that hang out near the bridge about 5km away. The walk was exciting-so many things to look at- farmers all around, people working in the fields, people making coal etc. just amazing. But the heat was extremely suffocating. It’s much hotter here than in Addis. When we got to the bridge we didn’t see hippos instead saw lots and lots of naked men bathing themselves. I guess the best time to see hippos is either at dawn or dusk.

We began heading back to the hotel since we forgot water but on the way we found a little stall that sold water and we sat down on some rocks in the shade to get out of the sun. We met so many people. It was quite comical because we kind of became a side show attraction, people would just stop in front of us and stare but not in a rude way just a curious way. I don’t think they are that used to seeing travellers just hanging out on the side of the street. This was where we met Dawit. After talking to each other for a while, he invited us into his home where he introduced us to his 3 brothers and one neighbour. And his father is a clergy man at the church down the street and a very very kind man. I fell in love with this little boy, Mickey who was 2 years old who at first was extremely shy but then completely opened himself up to me and began following me wherever I went and when I was on the couch he would come and lay next to me and wanted me to massage his face and head, it was adorable.

We also experienced a real coffee ceremony where they burn incense and boil the coffee over charcoal-the aromas from that is amazing. They even fed us. I swear I can’t get enough of Ethiopian food. So so good. The hospitality and openness we received from them was nothing less than beautiful which is a word I learned today in Amharic ‘khonja’ which is a word I seem to use often here! We stayed there for at least three hours just talking and talking. After the third (last) cup of coffee which is called baraka which means blessed/blessing we left the house with Dawit and he walked with us and showed us the recreation park and after that walked with us a bit more and then we said our goodbyes (hugs and kisses) and made plans to meet tomorrow at 4:30-5pm. We came back to the hotel, regrouped and then went on a walk and the sweetest thing happened, this little boy of 6 years who had come up to us to say hi completely attached himself to me. He just held my hand tight and wouldn’t let go- it was so cute; so he ended up coming with us on our walk and he never asked for anything, it just seemed like he wanted to hold my hand and all he would do was smile at me. He had the greatest smile. I wanted to eat him up. He was so cuddly. All the children here are so cuddly, you just want to put them all in your pocket.

Ethiopia is an amazing place. I love bahar dar and we haven’t even seen it yet! Today has been a great day. I love that everyone smiles at you and says hello. Everyone seems so happy to see you. Here people live by/with their heart and it is such a wonderful way to be. Everyone on this planet should be like that because it would lead to a world without hate. We must learn to open ourselves up and let others in, to see the world with our eyes of understanding.

March 8

It’s 7:15am and we are now eating breakfast overlooking the lake, it’s beautiful especially when the sun begins to rise and the whole lake has a layer of mist. I met 3 very sweet guys who asked for me to take their photos. It’s definitely easy to be a photographer here, half the time people will just come up to me and ask!

It’s a beautiful day. Right now we are just lounging around at the hotel. It’s very relaxing. We took a boat trip to the monasteries and saw lots of fisherman with their papyrus boats. They are rather incredible; they are so strong even though they look flimsy; they are able to carry oxen and used for transporting coal. We only visited 2 monasteries well actually we only went in one of them. The 1st place was horrendous because of how ‘rude’ the guides were and I had problems with one guy who was so disrespectful and wouldn’t leave me alone and he kept trying to grab me- it was absolute chaos. I was about to get in a fight, it really left a sour taste in my mouth. Because of the drama we just left. So we departed that place and went to a little island which was just the opposite- peaceful and serene. The artwork within the church was beautiful. The nuns and monks just live there in peace sorting out lentils and weaving such a lovely way of life.. The island is tiny and has an abundance of papaya trees. This island everyone was kind and offered fruit. Right now we are just taking it easy until 4:30pm when we have to leave to meet Dawit.

Well Dawit is absolutely an incredible person. We walked up to Hallie Selassie’s old palace and the views from there were breathtaking. The only negative thing about the experience was that after racing Dawit up the hill my body went into complete shock and I suffered a heat stroke. It felt like my whole body was going to explode- it was a bit scary. I had a hard time getting my heart beat and breathing to slow down. But other than that it was an incredible time. I really made a beautiful friend. It feels like I’ve known him forever-he makes you feel so welcome. On the way back it was already dark and I couldn’t see a thing and Dawit was so sweet and held my hand so I wouldn’t trip. And even once we could see he held my hand- holding hands is just what everyone here does. I love that! It’s endearing. I guess little Mickey asked about me in the morning wanting to see me. When we went back to his house I met his mother and Mickey was so happy to see me that he just plopped into my lap and cuddled, he went completely limp! His mother even said that if I lived here he would become my child too. His whole family is wonderful. I’m really going to miss them. Dawit is so caring and became somewhat protective of me when we were walking around. He’s like the protecter, I can tell-he protects everyone that is close to him. We are meeting him back at his house tomorrow at 2pm. The hospitality is wonderful. Everyone is so genuine and happy. I feel already a kinship with his whole family. I’m looking forward to seeing them again tomorrow. I love Ethiopia.

March 9

It’s 7am and I slept like a log. Now at the lakeside waiting for my morning coffee. My whole body aches today- I am definitely getting a lot of exercise here. And today is another full day of walking and this time I will make sure I do not forget my water. The morning here are a bit chilly but it’s refreshing. Melese our waiter at the hotel is an amazing person- he grew up in lalibela at a compound for orphans, his parents I think were killed. He’s only 19 years old but he’s doing really well- he rents an apartment for 150birr a month and pays 60 birr for night school. He’s on his own, he lived in the orphanage for 14 years. It just shows that we all need to take responsibility for ourselves and that no matter what our pasts have been like we all have the power to overcome them and live to our true potential. It shows that we cannot become trapped by our past and that instead we must live in the present and do what we can for the future. He is a very inspiring individual. I love him.

It’s a hot one today. We had a wander through the markets. The markets here are terrific. It truly makes you feel you are going back in time. They make so many beautiful things. I love all the baskets. There are so many different types of people that come to the market to either sell or buy. You see men and women carrying big loads of all sorts of things on their heads. You also see a lot of women in traditional clothing. It is truly a spectacular sight especially with all the dust circulating, it just feels like a scene from a film.

It’s only the afternoon and I am exhausted! I could just sleep but it’s our last day here and I don’t want to miss out on anything! Bahar Dar is a magickal place. I wouldn’t mind living here. But it’s hotter here than in Addis and much more humid but I love it. It’s getting dark and we just got back from Dawit’s. We spent the afternoon just hanging out at his house watching Ethiopian music videos, experiencing another coffee ceremony and eating food. What an amazing family- his mother gave me a whole outfit, an Ethiopian traditional dress- it is so beautiful and it felt like such an honor. I already miss them. I feel so privileged to have been invited into their home. His father has such an infectious smile. His father even did a special prayer for us. Everyone is so much more affectionate here. The hospitality they showed us is to be admired- I felt a part of the family. It was great just seeing how other people live. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience in Bahar Dar. Dawit was telling me that in the country side a lot of murders happen because of land and animal disputes but doesn’t really happen in the city.

At his house there were so many children and they were all so damn cute-they were fascinated by us. They were all so full of laughter and love. I love the way of life here- everything is so simple. When we left his house he walked with us almost all the way to the hotel and we said our goodbyes, it was so sad! I love Dawit- he’s such a good guy. I love making connections with random people- it just shows how the world we live in is such a small place. Him and his family will always be in my thoughts- I will never forget them. The love and kindness they showed towards me will always be remembered. I am incredibly thankful for crossing paths with them.

March 10

What a day we’ve had so far! We checked out of ghion and we are now in lalibela. But before we left ghion, melese gave us two wrapped gifts! 2 traditional shirts with scarves and he wanted to have his photos taken with us and he wants us to always remember him. He says that he is going to write. I was so touched. He’s such a gentle soul. Now it’s after 7pm and we are at the bluelal hotel in lalibela about to have some food.

Lalibela is an incredible village. Just the setting itself is absolutely beautiful. All around you are surrounded by mountains. The way of life here is so different than anything I’ve ever experienced. Today, Saturday is the biggest market day and people walk for up to three days to come and sell or buy things. People from the countryside all make the trek (35-50km) and today they also had the animal market where they sell and buy donkeys and and cattle and this is something that only happens twice a year. The market was packed, it was hard to even find just enough space to stand! It was great seeing all the different types of people.

After the market we were going to take a nap but instead just wanted to take a little walk but the little walk ended up being a huge and hard trek straight up into the mountain. It was very difficult for me and had to stop a lot and catch my breath! I’m just not used to the high elevation. but before our trek up the mountain we met a boy named abrham who led the way for us-such a sweet boy-he’s only 16 and he’s from the countryside about 35km away. He lives on his own here in lalibela so that he can go to school because there are no schools in the countryside (his family still lives in the country) we hung out with him the whole afternoon.

When we finally got back to the hotel my friend gave him 2birr and the bottles for guiding us but then I didn’t think that was enough and wanted to give him more so I went out and gave him 10 birr and this was when I realized what an incredible individual he was- he gave me the money back saying that money wasn’t good for him because he’ll end up giving it to his friends and family and that he really needs books since he doesn’t have any and needs to share. He just wants to be able to study and his dream is to become an English teacher, So we went and bought him two school books. It made him so happy and excited that he can now study at home. He wants us to come over to his house tomorrow. I just know that he’s going to accomplish great things when he gets older. He’s such a beautiful person!

On the way back from the shop where we got his books, a young man (late teens) came up to me and showed me his hands where he was hit by a stone and his knuckles were cut up and he wanted me to help him, so I brought him back to the hotel where I cleaned his wounds and put antiseptic on it and bandaged them up. He’s from the countryside and lives 35km away and will begin walking home tomorrow morning. He was so sweet and so thankful for me helping him and when I finished he gave my hands so many kisses. He was so afraid that there was something really wrong with his hands and I told him that there’s nothing wrong with him, that it will heal soon. As soon as he heard me say there was nothing to worry about a huge cloud lifted off of him and he relaxed. He was incredibly cute. He had the sweetest eyes. Looking into his eyes you could see his innocence, he was so pure of heart, a wonderful human being. I saw him again after we got back from dinner and he was so thankful and happy and wanted to know when to take the bandages off. He was scared at first when I put on the antiseptic because I told him it’s going to sting- it was very sweet and such an endearing moment because he put all his trust into me and felt relaxed. It was such a beautiful moment.

March 11

Another incredible day! We went and saw the churches and they are incredible. They built the churches out of one rock and carved them beginning from the outside in. it took them 25 years to complete. There are 55 monks per church. Some of the churches have such amazing detail and everything is symbolic and represents something. There was one part of the churches that I was not allowed in because it’s supposedly a representation of jesus christ’s resurrection and the legend goes that when he arose and Mary Magdalene saw him he told her she could not touch or see him anymore because he was now a part of the heavens. Also in every church there is a depiction of the Christians ‘saving’ the pagans by converting them to Christianity. All the priests have their own cross and they truly are a sight to behold. The priests will only ‘bless’ you if you are a vegan. Normally the priests will not speak to the foreigners but one of the priests looked me straight into the eyes and asked if I could help him with his cough. It’s strange how so many people have come up to me for help. I gave the priest some cough drops and told him to try to just breathe and take deep breaths and that it will make him stronger.

It was incredibly hot today, hotter than usual and I guess it is a sign that it will rain. I hope it does. I would love to see what it is like here when it rains. Today has been a day where I felt completely exhausted and took a couple of mini naps. All of our experiences finally caught up to me and my mind just needs to rest for a while. There’s so much to take in.

We went to Abrahams house at 5:30 and what an amazing time I had. He is truly an incredible boy with such a strong sense of determination to follow his dreams. It makes me so happy. He lives in a tiny little room and since his parents live in the country he sees his mother only a couple of times a month when she comes to the market. He saw her this past weekend and his mother brought us scarves. I was touched. He goes to government school and they are pretty horrible, there are about 110 students per class and a lot of disruptive students and the teachers don’t care about the students because they get paid by the government and feel they don’t need to do anything since they get an automatic paycheck. Private school in lalibela is cheap only costing 40 birr per month but in Addis they cost 500-2000 birr because they get teachers from Europe and they expect a ‘western’ salary. It’s so sad because it doesn’t give the children who really want to learn a chance just because they don’t have money. Abraham works to pay his rent which costs him 70birr and also for food. He’s an amazing kid. When we were in his room with him and his friend they wanted to give us a coffee ceremony and they tried so hard to make it for us but when I tasted it I just about spit it out-it was the worst coffee I ever had! It tasted only of salt. But the effort they put in to it to try to impress us was incredibly touching and the worst part of it was that I had to drink 3 cups of it!! It made me laugh. There were so many adorable children and one in particular that I fell in love with. She was just drawn to me immediately and just glued herself to me and cuddled. I was teaching her English words and everything I would say she would copy. She was the sweetest girl with the biggest personality I’ve met so far. I think she’s around 4 years old. At one point all the girls were dancing for me and the parents were getting such a kick out of it and the mother even said that I should take her back with me to my country. They enjoyed looking at my tattoos and it caused quite a bit of a stir. They were laughing when I pointed to the tattoos on their face saying it’s no different. Everyone was so sweet and everyone wanted to have their photos taken. This trip has honestly been the most incredible trip I’ve had so far.

March 12

It’s a little after one and we just got back from a little walk through the villages. The scenery is so beautiful. We met several more children and collected more addresses, pretty soon we will probably have the majority of the children’s addresses in lalibela. The sun here is incredibly strong and completely wipes you out. I met a group of locals who live right next to the churches and they were so sweet and really made me smile- we all had tattoos on our wrists and they thought that was really funny.

Here the students have different shifts when they go to school. They rotate each week; one week it’s in the mornings, then afternoon, and then evenings. It seems that the majority of the population here in lalibela are children.

On our way back to the hotel another little boy came up to me and asked if I could help him with his cut and when he showed me his leg/shin I was a bit taken aback because it looked horrible, it was incredibly swollen and dirty and it was just a huge gigantic gash. He told me he had gone to the hospital but they turned him away because he didn’t have money. It sucks. I wish they could have at least bandaged it up but I brought him back to the hotel and made him clean it and then I bandaged it up along with some tissue soaked in antiseptic. I wish I would have brought more medicine and more 1st aid type things. I didn’t even think to bring it for other people. It feels very frustrating when you can’t do anything. It makes me feel tense and uncomfortable because if only I came more prepared. But I guess I can’t help everyone, but I wish I could.

It’s only around 7pm and I’ve already called it a day. I got way too sunburnt today. I understand the power of the sun. I look like a tomato. We met up with abrham and he took us back to his house and I played with all the little children again and this time when they 1st saw me they just ran up to me to give me hugs and kisses. Everyone in the little area where they live are very nice and sweet and today everyone wanted their photos taken.

After hanging out there for a bit we went back to the hotel and relaxed and ate. I went out looking for aloe vera but couldn’t find any and then I saw Abrahams friend who volunteered to get me some. He wanted me to come back to his house for more coffee but I honestly don’t think I’d be able to stomach it again.

I was just about to go to sleep when I heard a knock on the door and it was Abraham and instead of going to his house, he just hung out here. The more time I spend with him the more I like him. He’s only been living in his place for three months, it’s his first time living alone before that he lived with his best friend but he moved to bahar dar because that is where his family lived. Abrhams father died two years ago and his mother wasn’t very happy about him wanting to go to school because she wanted him to work the fields with his brother who’s 32 but the thing is when his father died the government took the land- he would never be able to own it. Abrham told me there were times when he wanted to give up on school because it’s been so difficult at times but then he meets me and he feels that I’ve inspired him. He told me at times he gets really sad because he misses his family but that the people he lives around are a great support and he considers them family. There is something so special about Abraham you can see it in his eyes. He’s so gentle, humble and kind. I adore him. He will forever have a place in my heart. You can tell he’s lonely. I wish there was more I could do for him.

March 13

I forgot to mention another thing that Abraham said, he told me he works in the markets lifting heavy things for people and collects coins and saves them to pay for his rent. He said it’s very important for him to be able to have a place to stay because otherwise he would be on the streets and to be on the street can be very dangerous because when the locals drink especially after it’s gone dark they become violent and sometimes kill the homeless people because they are out of their minds. We got up around 6am this morning and took a walk around the churches again but I think we need to get up even earlier like at 5am to get that beautiful light that I love so much.

Lalibela is such a beautiful place, it’s so nice to be able to just relax and take it easy. We just got back from an incredible walk. We went through some of the villages and met some really wonderful people. I saw the same group of people I saw yesterday and they were so happy to see me. We weren’t alone on our walk, we had 4-5 kids tagging along with us. The one who we bandaged his leg was there and also another boy that I met yesterday who I absolutely adore. He also rents a room and is without parents. Ethiopia is definitely not the place for you to go if you do not like children. Lalibela for some reason reminds me of the scene out of Indiana jones and the temple of doom where he sets all the children free and they are running everywhere.

On our walk we met an incredible group of children who were so sweet and began dancing for us. I guess everyone here had never seen a tourist because the tourists only stay around the center of town. We had such a warm welcome! It was beautiful!

Abrham came by again and I showed him my ipod and I introduced him to TOOL and he loved it! It was so cute because he began singing to it and was just sucked in-he had never heard anything like it before. He also loved sublime and vas. After the music we went for a walk and there was this angry dog that was ready to attack me, I didn’t panic because there’s nothing I could have done, either I would have gotten bitten or not but Abraham saved me by immediately throwing a rock at the dog. It was so sweet he became so protective of me. If it hadn’t been for him I would have definitely been bitten and rabies was one of the shots I did not get.

Then we walked back and saw my little munchkin again and ended up carrying her for about 1km. I just love her. She’s such a sweetheart.

March 15

I feel great today after a full days of rest yesterday. My body just crashed yesterday. We got up at 5:30 and met abrham at 6 and proceeded on our hike. I still had a bit of a stomach ache but just thought it was gas and figured walking would make it better. The hike was incredibly hard. We climbed basically 8-10 miles uphill! I pushed my body to the limit. But we made it to the top about 4,600 meters up! The elevation really has an effect on you. We met some very lovely people on the way. Most people trek about 25 miles on a regular basis up and down the mountain. The endurance of the people here is incredible, they are so strong. It was a beautiful view once we got to the top and well worth the trip. Abrham wasn’t even once tired-the wonders of being young. Once we got back though to the hotel, my body just crashed. I over did it. I ended up sleeping the whole day and night.

This is our last day in lalibela, I’m going to miss it. I’ve met so many wonderful people and have made so many wonderful memories. I will never forget this place. This was exactly what I wanted to experience in Africa. I just love waking up to all the sounds of chickens, goats and cows and I love hearing the laughter of all the children singing throughout the day. Well it is now officially night in lalibela and it is our last night here. I am sad to leave. We spent the whole afternoon with Abraham and he was just over here for the last few hours and it was so sad. He was completely quiet and filled with so much sadness. He told me he was angry that I was leaving and that he didn’t want me to leave. His eyes were filled with tears. He was about to cry. There were times when he couldn’t speak because he was about to cry. I taught him a breathing exercise which helped him and that made me so happy. I wasn’t expecting to meet such an incredible boy and to have a tearful goodbye. At the same time I’m sad but I’m also excited for his future, I just envision him to do great things. It’s just sad seeing him so sad. I just want to squeeze him forever. He’s also sad I didn’t get to meet his mom. He’s going to see us in the morning he said he’s taking the day off because he wants to say goodbye to us when we get into the cab. He just breaks my heart. I can’t believe how attached he’s become to me. When he hugs you, you just never want to let go.

March 16

10am and I’m at the lalibela airport. I woke up at 5:30 and finished the last bit of packing. Abraham came over around 6:30 with his head down and such sadness on his face. He hardly spoke a word. We had coffee and breakfast and reminisced about our time in lalibela. Abraham was very depressed and slouched over and just didn’t want us to leave. After I ate I told him to go get his candle which he did and then I brought him to my room where I taught him how to meditate. He caught on very quickly and entered a world of his own. I taught him how to breathe and explained to him the effect our emotions have on us. It was incredible to see. I also did some healing on him while he meditated. Once he came back he had completely changed and had a huge smile on his face and stood tall. He was so happy and thankful and excited and he’s going to practice every night and write afterwards. He’s incredible. After our session we went back to his house where I said goodbye to everyone and it was so sweet because both mita and amele were crying hysterically because they were being blessed with ice cold holy water. When the time rolled around 9 our car arrived and it was time to leave. I became filled with emotion and found it hard not to cry. I didn’t want to leave him. Even after our hugs and kisses and I was in the car, he came to my window and gave me more hugs saying how much he’s going to miss me and even when the car drove off he just stood there waving until we couldn’t see each other anymore. I wasn’t expecting such an emotional farewell. It was sad-it actually felt like I lost something. My emotions took me by surprise.

March 17

In Addis Ababa at the Baro hotel, It’s our last day, our flight leaves at 12:40am. We have already checked out of the room and are now just killing time. It’s a very sad day. I miss seeing Abraham in the mornings, I find myself thinking of him often. I am sad to leave but at the same time I am filled with so many new ideas and I am really looking forward to putting them into action. We have about 3 more hours to go. It’s going to be such a change getting back to London. This truly has been an incredible trip, I have met so many wonderful people.

Day one. Marrakech. It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted, I’ve been up since 2am going on 2 hours of sleep and the flight was very uncomfortable and seemed to take forever. But all my tiredness and discomfort disappeared when we arrived. Had the most amazing welcome from everyone- kisses, hugs and big smiles from everyone. I love it here so much. Everyone feels like an extended family. When I am here I feel so alive, everything feels just right. This is an amazing place. Everyone is filled with so much love. People seem to not have any walls up around them, everyone is trusting which to me is absolutely beautiful.

I gave everyone photos and they were all so happy. It was great. There is something that I find so comforting here but I cannot put my finger on it. I love the energy here, I love all the children everywhere laughing and playing with each other. I love the chaos of the world within the souks. I love the smells, the dirt, the dust- everything is real. There are no presumptuous people. Everyone is humble. People care for one another here. Not like England. England does not feel like a home, when I am here it feels like home. Everything that I need to do becomes so clear and simple. In England I find myself consumed with distractions.

England to me is the land of the dead. I feel such a strong sense of compassion and inspiration. Morocco makes me see the world as a beautiful place whereas England makes me think of all the ugliness that is in the world. Right now at this point in my life I am learning how to be guided by my higher self, my spirit and not be affected by anything else and morocco helps me gain clarity. It’s the place I like to go in the material world that gives me the perspective that I crave. I gain strength when I am here, everything is simple. I want to become nothing. I want to be without self. That is my only focus as of now until I get there. It will be my freedom and everything that follows will be my destiny. Nothing but the nothingness is of importance to me.

January 16 2007

Yesterday was such an incredible day- a day where words will not do justice. The feelings I have go beyond words. We went back to the village that we visited last year in November 2006, with a bag of clothes and some arts and crafts. Nothing major just a few things that I knew they would enjoy.

Let me recap our first visit before I continue... We walked about 3 miles out of Marrakesh I saw this wall that looked like an old fort. We walked until we got close to it then turned down a road, an industrial road which brought to the base of the wall so we decided to climb up to take a photo of the view. You could see the whole of Marrakech in the distance. It was a great view.

We walked up further and by this time I was pretty sweaty and when we got too the top we saw a whole new different view. It looked like an old quarry except it was a village. It gave me the impression that it was ‘hidden’ from the rest of Marrakech as though the big landfill wall is being used as a gate to keep it hidden. We walked down into the village and the closer we got the worse the smell became, I looked down as I almost stepped in a huge pile of rotting fish guts, I realized we were on a garbage dump. There were a lot of sheep and I wanted to take a photo of them. As I got closer to the sheep all these kids ran up to me and wanted me to take their photos. I did. I had such a fun time.

We walked away from them up to the edge of this cliff and just sat there and watched the view. We were on a landfill. These families live on a garbage dump. All the children came up to us again and they were so sweet. There were about 7-8 of them. They spoke French and Arabic.

There was a woman there who seemed to be the caretaker or mother of some of them and she was so kind. They came up to spend time with us rather than because they wanted something. She had a 5 month old baby around her who was sick and there was another boy who had teeth problems. I fell in love with this little boy, he had the prettiest eye lashes and all he did was laugh, he was a flirt. I would just smile at him and he would laugh. Later he told me he loved me in English. I was talking to the mom and trying to comfort her baby and there were so many flies that kept landing on my face and she would touch my face and swat them away. They were so full of love and compassion.

All the children gave me hugs and kisses and as we were walking away the little girl ran out after me and gave me a present- a necklace which I am currently wearing. They touched my heart. They put everything in perspective for me. I felt so much love and compassion amongst them. I felt so happy there and it was a garbage dump. They will from now on be in my thoughts forever. I am so happy I met them, I feel I have made new friends.

Everyone I have met here are aspects of who I want to be. They bring out who I really am. Everyone I have met on this trip has taught me something about myself. They each have had a purpose and shown me what it means to be truly living. They made me realize how selfish I have been through their own selflessness.

So now back to today...One thing I found fascinating when we gave them their gifts was that Soukina, the 14 year old girl did not know what crayons or markers were or any of the other crafts we brought. The welcome we received was extraordinary- they invited us into their home and first gave us tea then it was lunch and then tea and snacks and better yet coffee.

They didn’t want us to leave- we were there the whole day and each time we tried to say we needed to leave they pretended to not understand even though I know they did, it was very funny. The language barrier is huge- I speak no Arabic or French they speak a little French and no English. But somehow we managed to communicate with them. It proved very exhausting!

The house is tiny and there are 6 people living there- the size of their home is the equivalent of a small bedroom in London. It’s amazing how people’s standards are so different depending where you are. In their home they have no plumbing and I was a bit confused as to what to do when I needed to use the toilet- it was just a hole in the ground with a place to put your feet and there were no toilet paper just a bucker with a water tap. Luckily I only had to pee.

The kindness they showed us is to be sought after and admired. Fatima the older daughter gave me a gold Allah engraved necklace and the mother actually gave me the ring off of her own hand! I didn’t want to accept it but she wouldn’t allow me to not take it. The whole day was filled with so much love. They even gave me a name, Fatim Zahra which means beautiful flower. We went on a walk with Soukina through her village. We were greeted with curiosity from everyone.

When we first met them during the last trip I felt so different from them and I noticed the poverty but this time I felt like an equal and didn’t notice the difference in way of life. I felt a kinship. They make me value everything and make me realize what’s important which is just love and compassion and enjoying the simple little things that exist in our daily lives.

January 18 (day five)

It’s our last day here. I’m already sad to leave. Going back to London seems so trivial. I am not happy there. It is not a place I call home. All I want to do when I am there is leave. Today is a busy day and I’m not sure how we are going to fit in everything. It’s the slaughter of the ram at noon then at 6 is the feast for the celebration of their newborn son. Now I am certain I am meant to travel; to see the world. I must stay true to myself and not allow external influence. I have no idea where I will end up and that to me is freedom. I have a hard time relating to western civilization. I find it too superficial and lacking understanding.

The west only wants to make every place a copy of itself. The west tries to force change upon others. They do not understand that you cannot force change upon anyone. The west is greedy and selfish and filled only with false complications. They are not living, they are dead. They are lazy and do not understand the concept of what it means to have an active role. Everyone is obsessed with the quick-fix scheme. Other parts of the world especially poorer parts are filled with compassion and humility. The west (most of) do not even have in inkling of understanding. The west looks down upon the poor and anyone who is different.

I’m taking a break from the party to write. Words cannot describe what I feel. This has been the most amazing day ever. I have never felt so loved and welcomed. They told me that they are my new family. Everyone is so happy that I am sharing this experience with them. Words cannot do justice to how I feel and how happy I am. I love their culture. I witnessed the sacrifice of the ram-it was crazy because you could smell its blood. The men all gathered around at the table before singing the Koran- it sounded beautiful. All the women are in another room. Everyone is so happy that I am taking photos and all want their photos taken.

It’s a huge celebration- everyone is dressed beautifully. I feel that I am a part of their family. This trip is even better than the last. I cannot wait to come back. When they killed the ram they also skin it. It’s funny because I can’t communicate to most of anyone since I don’t even speak French and yet I somehow managed- a smile goes a long way. These people are the most beautiful people I have ever met. Their kindness and humility is awe inspiring. Everyone has a love for each other. Everyone is a part of a big family and helps each other out. It’s exactly what I want. Western civilization is filled with fear and contempt. People forget to live and love because is everyone is so worried about everything that they cannot control.

The women even invited me to eat with them and they all were making fun of me because my stomach wasn’t as big as there’s. I love how they eat with their hands- perfection! They were so sweet- they were even making me little food piles, it was touching. A definite kinship has been formed. All the women make me feel a part of their lives. I’m having the most beautiful day.

January 19 (leaving Marrakech to go back to the land of the dead)

This has been yet another amazing trip. Everytime I am away it just makes it more evident that I do not belong in London. I am already thinking about the next trip and I haven’t even arrived in London. I refuse and cannot call London home. I have gained so many beautiful memories here and made so many wonderful friends. Everyone I have met have been truly genuine people. I want to see the world and experience all the different things in the world.

My soul will always be in Morocco. My soul will never be in England. Even though I am in London I don’t feel that I am- I still feel I am in morocco- only my physical self is here, the true me is also here and in morocco. I have brought morocco with me. I feel its essence and pureness consume me.